The Day That I Am Going To Lose A Portion Of My Female Fanbase.

I have no misconceptions of what this is going to do.  It is going to do the same thing that many of the things I do, do.  It is going to stir a pot..  but this is no doubt going to be a BIG ASS cauldron stirred by a big ass oar..  But I stir this pot not merely to sit back and watch it boil over for my enjoyment..  I do it .. because I feel it needs to be said. And what needs to be said is simply this...

Some of you ladies..  need to SERIOUSLY get over yourself.

There.. I said it.  but wait..  I can hear the calls into the night... asking, "Why?  Why oh Why must we get over ourselves, Brooks?"  "You must hate women!!  You must be...  (gasp) a Chauvinist!"

Oh nay nay, I say!!  I love women!  I was raised by a very strong woman with a mean right hook, I might add.  I have every respect in the world for them.  I believe they can do anything a man can do (except the whole snow writing thing...  but you have the child birth thing to trump that one...)  But fair enough..  I cannot say such a harsh thing without reason..  I will give you my reasons..  and here is where there will be some teeth and venom.. and nastiness.. and ..  well.. lots of stuff that might piss you off..

When did it become ok to berate your partner on social networks..  to your friends..  etc??  Now..  I know it is big on sitcoms for the cute wife to constantly cut down or treat the slovenly husband like an idiot..  but somehow... some ladies find this as acceptable and cute behavior..  If the tables were turned..  the same ladies would be SCREAMING emotional abuse!!  If you know me..  I laugh at most everything in life..  I don't take much too seriously.. but lets play fair, kiddies...  If I posted or told my friends that my wife was in the doghouse..  or was going to pay for whatever transgression..  I would be a total tool..  Guess what ladies..  if you do that??   I have another word for you..  Yep..  the holy momma of all words hated by females across the board.  Hell... even I won't say it..  I am not THAT tough.  This person is your partner..  not your whipping boy.  If that truly is the case.. I feel sorry for that poor bastard and yet I have a feeling you will be SHOCKED when he hooks up with some trollop that at least makes him feel like he is still a man.  Do I condone this?  no.   But it is a reality you very well may have to face if you keep up this ridiculous crap.  Respect each other.  You will feel better about the relationship, too.  Women do not want some spineless jellyfish..  and frankly, ladies..  we could do without you trying to be our momma.  When you call your hubby a dumbass or any other kind of name in front of your friends... most of us don't think it is funny... it is tragic..  but sadly.. you mistake the nervous laughter as some sort of positive acknowledgement.  Dumb Ass.

Ok.. next..  If I see another list of what all you do and how you are on call 24/7/365..  I am going to punch you in the ovary..  ok..  I can't back that up.. but I will look at you with a very uncomfortable amount of disdain.  You are a cook, a maid, a taxi service, a doctor, a cop, a blah blah blah..    Congrats..  You are doing your frikkin job.  Step off the pedestal... or step off your cross, ya martyr..  if you have a good marriage or partnership or whatever the hell else you have going..  they are doing it too..  And this one is going to make many of you want to kick me in the junk....  if your self esteem is so low, that you need me or anyone else to give you props for popping out some ankle biters..   I am truly sorry that things are that bad with you.  (And don't say you don't care about what I or others think..  you proved different by making it public)  You signed up for this when you decided to have a child.  It is your job.  I want to tear my hair out whenever I read these self serving little snippets about being everything and never getting a break and I give my all and expect nothing in return but for people to worship my selflessness...  GAAAAHHHH!!!! Want a pat on the head?  Ok..  I will humor you..  Congrats on getting knocked up..  To be fair, I feel the same way about fathers that brag about paying the bills, teaching the kids how to play, changing diapers, doing laundry..  FUCKER... IT IS YOUR JOB, TOO! NONE OF YOU GET GOLD STARS FOR DOING SOMETHING THAT IS YOUR JOB!!!   Moms, Dads..  You BOTH are supposed to feed, support, house, clothe, and try to ensure the lil brats don't grow up to be complete douchebags... THAT IS YOUR JOB!  If you get satisfaction for what you do and how you parent, that is truly awesome!  I am sincere about that.  There is a ton of satisfaction in raising some seemingly well adjusted kids.  But please,  do not have expectations of other people to praise you for doing the exact damn thing you are supposed to be doing.  I will admit..  there are many parents out there that do NOT do there job... that is for a different day.

Now before some of you get bent out of shape... this was to no one specific..  it was simply an observation of the goings on.  Are we guys perfect..  Absolutely not.  We screw up..  we smell bad sometimes..  we can be gross... we can be forgetful..  the list goes on..  but the truth is..  You chose US.  And guess what.. We chose YOU, too.  Love what you have.  We will do the same.  And for God's sake, ladies.. PLEASE learn to love yourselves, so you don't need other people to acknowledge all you do.  Desperately fishing for complements..  SOOO unbecoming