Life has a way of humbling you.. bring the proud to one knee.. take you down that notch when you are feeling like invincible. I have something to cop to.. I am going to make a declaration here.. the truth is.. I am frightened as hell about growing old. Am I alone in this? No.. Many of us grasp at the remnants of our youth.. we say our children keep us young.. Some go through mid-life crisis.. some dye their hair.. Everyone has their way of coping, I suppose. I know I can't make myself crazy over this.. Ok.. I could.. but I don't want to.. Some may say that I act the way I do in an effort to hold on to my youth.. I could see why some would say that.. but it seems that the way I act is the one thing that hasn't really changed.. It is more of an arrested development. I am going gray.. My facial hair is very salt and pepper and I have the touches of silver on my temples. I look in the mirror.. my face .. well.. is my face.. more lines.. little more tired looking.. I know I look like.. a dad. I suppose I am mature enough as to not try too hard. I'm not going to color my hair.. (One of the benefits of being a guy.. we can still look bitchin' with some silver. Sorry ladies.. I don't make societies rules.. ) I am not going to get some midlife crisis sports car.. I am not going to dress in douche-like clothes.. (no Ed Hardy, Affliction, etc.. It just looks sad and it reeks of trying way too hard) I just don't want to wait to die. I don't feel like I have covered everything I should have.. I feel like there is more to do.. more to accomplish.
Why all this introspection? I got scared.. The other day I was chilling.. and suddenly I felt like I got hit in the head by a baseball bat. It was a blinding pain. It didn't last too long.. I went to bed to sleep it off.. and I had minor little migraine type headaches for about a week. Nothing extreme.. more of the I could feel a headache coming on if it wanted to. I know I should have gone to the doctor right then.. but to be honest, I was scared of what I might hear. I know I am saying the word scared a bunch.. but I guess it makes it real to me. I am not a "scared" type of guy. I will joke and goof around.. but not a huge fear guy. I guess I was raised to kind of brush it off.. to see it as a weakness in character.. Even if I felt it.. I pushed it down inside. I tend to do everything I can to know what I am getting into.. not a fan of surprises... and rarely get surprised. This was different. I was petrified. I kept much of my feelings to myself. I prefer to show a strong side for my family.. I don't like showing weakness as a general rule.. and I didn't want to deal with the teasing from friends that I was over-reacting. I know I have been guilty of telling people not to worry about things when they bring up whatever their concern is.. or tell them they are over-reacting.. or just saying "You're fine".. I know when I did that, I thought I was helping.. I wasn't. I was minimizing their concerns. That went through my head during the week and over the weekend, so I didn't bring up a bunch of details to anyone. One side note.. if you feel you have an illness or symptoms... go to the doctor.. DO NOT GO ON WEB MD... That shit will fuck with your head. I looked up the symptoms I had.. One of the first things to click when I let it know where I was hurting and such was "Was this the worst headache you have ever had?" I thought to myself.. "Well.. Yes!' mostly due to the fact that I have NEVER had a migraine before.. so I clicked yes.. WEB MD promptly stated that I had an aneurysm. WHAT???? It didn't list any other possible symptoms or illnesses.. just "HEY, dude.. you have a blood vessel in your brain that is about to 86 your ass!" SO I promptly backed out and decided that maybe .. perhaps that wasn't the worst headache I have ever had.. I went through some of the other stuff.. and it gave me a bunch of possible death sentences. What seemed to fit the most was something called Cluster Headaches.. lovely.. I quit smoking and now I get to have my body fall apart. So.. anyway.. I called the doctor this morning to go in.. I went in.. The Nurse Practitioner (whom I think is the shizz) went over everything... listened to what I had to say and my concerns.. (without calling me a big crybaby pussy) and said, "Hey.. well if you waited this long.. if it had been a stroke.. we probably wouldn't be talking." Good point.. So she told me it probably wasn't a tumor or an an aneurysm, but to check in with her next week. She put me on a steroid for a few days to see if it helps clear something up in case of sinus infection or whatever.
So, now.. I don't drink much.. I don't smoke.. (like an Adam Ant video)((Don Draper would be crying right now.. if he knew how to)) .. Now it is going to be a real challenge to maintain my edgy-ness.. LOL How do I keep the gruff swagger I have worked for YEARS to perfect.. I am coming close to middle age.. I guess I could try to rock the plaid shorts.. dark socks.. sandals.. tucked in polo shirt.. ick...
Ugh.. enough sensitivity and emotional crap for now.. I really must be losing my edge.. I guess everyone will have to learn to adjust to a slightly less edgy, more smooth than rough Brooks.... sorry, ladies.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The Day That I Am Going To Lose A Portion Of My Female Fanbase.
I have no misconceptions of what this is going to do. It is going to do the same thing that many of the things I do, do. It is going to stir a pot.. but this is no doubt going to be a BIG ASS cauldron stirred by a big ass oar.. But I stir this pot not merely to sit back and watch it boil over for my enjoyment.. I do it .. because I feel it needs to be said. And what needs to be said is simply this...
Some of you ladies.. need to SERIOUSLY get over yourself.
There.. I said it. but wait.. I can hear the calls into the night... asking, "Why? Why oh Why must we get over ourselves, Brooks?" "You must hate women!! You must be... (gasp) a Chauvinist!"
Oh nay nay, I say!! I love women! I was raised by a very strong woman with a mean right hook, I might add. I have every respect in the world for them. I believe they can do anything a man can do (except the whole snow writing thing... but you have the child birth thing to trump that one...) But fair enough.. I cannot say such a harsh thing without reason.. I will give you my reasons.. and here is where there will be some teeth and venom.. and nastiness.. and .. well.. lots of stuff that might piss you off..
When did it become ok to berate your partner on social networks.. to your friends.. etc?? Now.. I know it is big on sitcoms for the cute wife to constantly cut down or treat the slovenly husband like an idiot.. but somehow... some ladies find this as acceptable and cute behavior.. If the tables were turned.. the same ladies would be SCREAMING emotional abuse!! If you know me.. I laugh at most everything in life.. I don't take much too seriously.. but lets play fair, kiddies... If I posted or told my friends that my wife was in the doghouse.. or was going to pay for whatever transgression.. I would be a total tool.. Guess what ladies.. if you do that?? I have another word for you.. Yep.. the holy momma of all words hated by females across the board. Hell... even I won't say it.. I am not THAT tough. This person is your partner.. not your whipping boy. If that truly is the case.. I feel sorry for that poor bastard and yet I have a feeling you will be SHOCKED when he hooks up with some trollop that at least makes him feel like he is still a man. Do I condone this? no. But it is a reality you very well may have to face if you keep up this ridiculous crap. Respect each other. You will feel better about the relationship, too. Women do not want some spineless jellyfish.. and frankly, ladies.. we could do without you trying to be our momma. When you call your hubby a dumbass or any other kind of name in front of your friends... most of us don't think it is funny... it is tragic.. but sadly.. you mistake the nervous laughter as some sort of positive acknowledgement. Dumb Ass.
Ok.. next.. If I see another list of what all you do and how you are on call 24/7/365.. I am going to punch you in the ovary.. ok.. I can't back that up.. but I will look at you with a very uncomfortable amount of disdain. You are a cook, a maid, a taxi service, a doctor, a cop, a blah blah blah.. Congrats.. You are doing your frikkin job. Step off the pedestal... or step off your cross, ya martyr.. if you have a good marriage or partnership or whatever the hell else you have going.. they are doing it too.. And this one is going to make many of you want to kick me in the junk.... if your self esteem is so low, that you need me or anyone else to give you props for popping out some ankle biters.. I am truly sorry that things are that bad with you. (And don't say you don't care about what I or others think.. you proved different by making it public) You signed up for this when you decided to have a child. It is your job. I want to tear my hair out whenever I read these self serving little snippets about being everything and never getting a break and I give my all and expect nothing in return but for people to worship my selflessness... GAAAAHHHH!!!! Want a pat on the head? Ok.. I will humor you.. Congrats on getting knocked up.. To be fair, I feel the same way about fathers that brag about paying the bills, teaching the kids how to play, changing diapers, doing laundry.. FUCKER... IT IS YOUR JOB, TOO! NONE OF YOU GET GOLD STARS FOR DOING SOMETHING THAT IS YOUR JOB!!! Moms, Dads.. You BOTH are supposed to feed, support, house, clothe, and try to ensure the lil brats don't grow up to be complete douchebags... THAT IS YOUR JOB! If you get satisfaction for what you do and how you parent, that is truly awesome! I am sincere about that. There is a ton of satisfaction in raising some seemingly well adjusted kids. But please, do not have expectations of other people to praise you for doing the exact damn thing you are supposed to be doing. I will admit.. there are many parents out there that do NOT do there job... that is for a different day.
Now before some of you get bent out of shape... this was to no one specific.. it was simply an observation of the goings on. Are we guys perfect.. Absolutely not. We screw up.. we smell bad sometimes.. we can be gross... we can be forgetful.. the list goes on.. but the truth is.. You chose US. And guess what.. We chose YOU, too. Love what you have. We will do the same. And for God's sake, ladies.. PLEASE learn to love yourselves, so you don't need other people to acknowledge all you do. Desperately fishing for complements.. SOOO unbecoming
Some of you ladies.. need to SERIOUSLY get over yourself.
There.. I said it. but wait.. I can hear the calls into the night... asking, "Why? Why oh Why must we get over ourselves, Brooks?" "You must hate women!! You must be... (gasp) a Chauvinist!"
Oh nay nay, I say!! I love women! I was raised by a very strong woman with a mean right hook, I might add. I have every respect in the world for them. I believe they can do anything a man can do (except the whole snow writing thing... but you have the child birth thing to trump that one...) But fair enough.. I cannot say such a harsh thing without reason.. I will give you my reasons.. and here is where there will be some teeth and venom.. and nastiness.. and .. well.. lots of stuff that might piss you off..
When did it become ok to berate your partner on social networks.. to your friends.. etc?? Now.. I know it is big on sitcoms for the cute wife to constantly cut down or treat the slovenly husband like an idiot.. but somehow... some ladies find this as acceptable and cute behavior.. If the tables were turned.. the same ladies would be SCREAMING emotional abuse!! If you know me.. I laugh at most everything in life.. I don't take much too seriously.. but lets play fair, kiddies... If I posted or told my friends that my wife was in the doghouse.. or was going to pay for whatever transgression.. I would be a total tool.. Guess what ladies.. if you do that?? I have another word for you.. Yep.. the holy momma of all words hated by females across the board. Hell... even I won't say it.. I am not THAT tough. This person is your partner.. not your whipping boy. If that truly is the case.. I feel sorry for that poor bastard and yet I have a feeling you will be SHOCKED when he hooks up with some trollop that at least makes him feel like he is still a man. Do I condone this? no. But it is a reality you very well may have to face if you keep up this ridiculous crap. Respect each other. You will feel better about the relationship, too. Women do not want some spineless jellyfish.. and frankly, ladies.. we could do without you trying to be our momma. When you call your hubby a dumbass or any other kind of name in front of your friends... most of us don't think it is funny... it is tragic.. but sadly.. you mistake the nervous laughter as some sort of positive acknowledgement. Dumb Ass.
Ok.. next.. If I see another list of what all you do and how you are on call 24/7/365.. I am going to punch you in the ovary.. ok.. I can't back that up.. but I will look at you with a very uncomfortable amount of disdain. You are a cook, a maid, a taxi service, a doctor, a cop, a blah blah blah.. Congrats.. You are doing your frikkin job. Step off the pedestal... or step off your cross, ya martyr.. if you have a good marriage or partnership or whatever the hell else you have going.. they are doing it too.. And this one is going to make many of you want to kick me in the junk.... if your self esteem is so low, that you need me or anyone else to give you props for popping out some ankle biters.. I am truly sorry that things are that bad with you. (And don't say you don't care about what I or others think.. you proved different by making it public) You signed up for this when you decided to have a child. It is your job. I want to tear my hair out whenever I read these self serving little snippets about being everything and never getting a break and I give my all and expect nothing in return but for people to worship my selflessness... GAAAAHHHH!!!! Want a pat on the head? Ok.. I will humor you.. Congrats on getting knocked up.. To be fair, I feel the same way about fathers that brag about paying the bills, teaching the kids how to play, changing diapers, doing laundry.. FUCKER... IT IS YOUR JOB, TOO! NONE OF YOU GET GOLD STARS FOR DOING SOMETHING THAT IS YOUR JOB!!! Moms, Dads.. You BOTH are supposed to feed, support, house, clothe, and try to ensure the lil brats don't grow up to be complete douchebags... THAT IS YOUR JOB! If you get satisfaction for what you do and how you parent, that is truly awesome! I am sincere about that. There is a ton of satisfaction in raising some seemingly well adjusted kids. But please, do not have expectations of other people to praise you for doing the exact damn thing you are supposed to be doing. I will admit.. there are many parents out there that do NOT do there job... that is for a different day.
Now before some of you get bent out of shape... this was to no one specific.. it was simply an observation of the goings on. Are we guys perfect.. Absolutely not. We screw up.. we smell bad sometimes.. we can be gross... we can be forgetful.. the list goes on.. but the truth is.. You chose US. And guess what.. We chose YOU, too. Love what you have. We will do the same. And for God's sake, ladies.. PLEASE learn to love yourselves, so you don't need other people to acknowledge all you do. Desperately fishing for complements.. SOOO unbecoming
Monday, March 14, 2011
A Mad Scramble of GAAAAHHH!!!
Alone in my thoughts.. not as entertaining as one would think.. Things tend to go dark when I am left to my own devices.. LOL Anyway. My brain is a crazy 80's mix tape of random crap that is going on. Ok.. The Japanese Tsunami and earthquake.. I feel bad for them in a way.. probably not as much as I should.. ok.. it crosses my mind when I see a headline.. there.. just being honest. I understand it was tragic.. but on the bright side (and I may catch some "you are being insensitive" flak for this... BUT if anyone can bounce back from getting their proverbial shit pushed in.. it is the Japanese.. they went from a nuclear wasteland to a overpopulated juggernaut in less than 30 years.. we ALL have some wonderful products in our home made by them! And most of the time they make it better than we do! If we had something happen to us that was on the scale to getting nuked.. not once.. but twice.... we would be whining and crying.. Those bastards showed up to work the next day glowing.. Don't worry about those guys.. they got this.
I want to apologize now to my parents for any teenage drama bullshit I put them through.. It is ridiculous.. It is stupid.. and in the end it means nothing at all.. Youth is SOOO wasted on the young.
I need a change.. something to freshen things up in a big way. I am at a point in my life where I want to make my mark.. I am far too bright, charming, etc.. to not be destined for some sort of greatness.. Some people were meant to make the fries.. some of us have divine purpose.. I have always felt I was meant for some sort of greatness, but they don't seem to pass out the pamphlet on where you are supposed to do it.. or pick it up.. build it like some sort of IKEA table.. I don't know.. Maybe I will post up a poll..
I guess I will be heading to Watauga tomorrow to check on my dad. I haven't seen him since he left the hospital. He seems to be doing great.
I don't like an empty house.. no noise.. no people.. Don't get me wrong.. I like some alone time.. but when I am done with it.. I need warm bodies. My Boba Fett cardboard stand up doesn't offer much companionship..
Eh.. I am getting sleepy..
I want to apologize now to my parents for any teenage drama bullshit I put them through.. It is ridiculous.. It is stupid.. and in the end it means nothing at all.. Youth is SOOO wasted on the young.
I need a change.. something to freshen things up in a big way. I am at a point in my life where I want to make my mark.. I am far too bright, charming, etc.. to not be destined for some sort of greatness.. Some people were meant to make the fries.. some of us have divine purpose.. I have always felt I was meant for some sort of greatness, but they don't seem to pass out the pamphlet on where you are supposed to do it.. or pick it up.. build it like some sort of IKEA table.. I don't know.. Maybe I will post up a poll..
I guess I will be heading to Watauga tomorrow to check on my dad. I haven't seen him since he left the hospital. He seems to be doing great.
I don't like an empty house.. no noise.. no people.. Don't get me wrong.. I like some alone time.. but when I am done with it.. I need warm bodies. My Boba Fett cardboard stand up doesn't offer much companionship..
Eh.. I am getting sleepy..
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Oh teh noz... Mah brayn ain't workin' so good-like..
I have had many good experiences in my life.. maybe not good at the time.. but good in that they make for a hell of a story to tell later.. I have no problem laughing at myself... Hell... there is a ton of material to laugh at.. If you cannot laugh at yourself, well.. then you are a douchecake. MOST everyone knows that my short term memory.. well it sucks.. like a Hoover on steroids type suckage. But my long term memory is ridiculously detailed and a bit scary.. or it was.. I was thinking about the one and only time that I got swats in school. Knowing me and looking at me.. I wasn't the "Get Swats" type of guy... I looked clean cut.. I was a bit preppish.. a charming rogue.. but nevertheless.. I got whooped..
Our story begins in speech class.. I remember the class well. I can't remember the teacher's name.. but I know she had a bit part in Robocop... took me to her church once because I was curious about what a big black Baptist church was like .. and didn't like the fact that I called her Caliente Cocoa.. (which I thought was Hot Chocolate in Spanish... so sue me.. I took Latin).. anyway.. She was absent.. and we had a substitute teacher.. some guy.. anyway.. I was passing notes of a risque nature back and forth with this friend of mine who was a chick but I do not remember her name.. There may have been things about edible undergarments.. calling the lass "Lust bunny" and other sort of embarrassing things.. Well.. the substitute took his job VERY seriously and after catching us passing the note.. sent us both to the office.. Crap.. She (of whose name I do not recall) went to the chick VP.. I went to VP Nathan Purvis.. Mr. Purvis read the note.. told me my options (4 hours saturday detention or 3 swats on the butt) and I selected the swats. I will be damned if I was going to be up at NHS at 8 am on a Saturday.. So... he called my mom.. and read the note... to my mom.... They both had trouble not laughing.. I had trouble not crawling under my chair.. Mr. Purvis said 'Mrs. Smith... Christopher (obviously I wasn't a trouble maker.. he did not know the name I went by) has chosen to take 3 licks with the paddle.. " I heard her over the phone.. she laughed and said "Let em have it!" So.. I bent over a rolling chair.. (not the most stable getting-your-ass-whipped platform..) He swung the first time... I flew into the book case.. got back up.. stabilized better.. and then he nailed me the 2 remaining times.. albeit bookcase free this time. So, I got up.. Purvis put out his hand to shake mine.. I shook it in submissive humiliation.. and walked out the door. I met the girl (whose name STILL escapes me) on the way back to class.. she had a concerned look on her face and asked "are you ok? I could hear it from across the office" I said "Yeah..I was hoping I would get lunch out of it, though.. " I don't think she got it.. I asked about her punishment.. she got one hour after school detention.. So much for equal rights.. You gals can bitch about your glass ceiling all you want.. You arent getting your butt pounded.. (in retrospect.. that sounds bad.. but I am keeping it in.. if only for that reason)
Anyway.. out of that whole story.. the most upsetting thing to me is that I cannot remember people's names..
Our story begins in speech class.. I remember the class well. I can't remember the teacher's name.. but I know she had a bit part in Robocop... took me to her church once because I was curious about what a big black Baptist church was like .. and didn't like the fact that I called her Caliente Cocoa.. (which I thought was Hot Chocolate in Spanish... so sue me.. I took Latin).. anyway.. She was absent.. and we had a substitute teacher.. some guy.. anyway.. I was passing notes of a risque nature back and forth with this friend of mine who was a chick but I do not remember her name.. There may have been things about edible undergarments.. calling the lass "Lust bunny" and other sort of embarrassing things.. Well.. the substitute took his job VERY seriously and after catching us passing the note.. sent us both to the office.. Crap.. She (of whose name I do not recall) went to the chick VP.. I went to VP Nathan Purvis.. Mr. Purvis read the note.. told me my options (4 hours saturday detention or 3 swats on the butt) and I selected the swats. I will be damned if I was going to be up at NHS at 8 am on a Saturday.. So... he called my mom.. and read the note... to my mom.... They both had trouble not laughing.. I had trouble not crawling under my chair.. Mr. Purvis said 'Mrs. Smith... Christopher (obviously I wasn't a trouble maker.. he did not know the name I went by) has chosen to take 3 licks with the paddle.. " I heard her over the phone.. she laughed and said "Let em have it!" So.. I bent over a rolling chair.. (not the most stable getting-your-ass-whipped platform..) He swung the first time... I flew into the book case.. got back up.. stabilized better.. and then he nailed me the 2 remaining times.. albeit bookcase free this time. So, I got up.. Purvis put out his hand to shake mine.. I shook it in submissive humiliation.. and walked out the door. I met the girl (whose name STILL escapes me) on the way back to class.. she had a concerned look on her face and asked "are you ok? I could hear it from across the office" I said "Yeah..I was hoping I would get lunch out of it, though.. " I don't think she got it.. I asked about her punishment.. she got one hour after school detention.. So much for equal rights.. You gals can bitch about your glass ceiling all you want.. You arent getting your butt pounded.. (in retrospect.. that sounds bad.. but I am keeping it in.. if only for that reason)
Anyway.. out of that whole story.. the most upsetting thing to me is that I cannot remember people's names..
Friday, March 4, 2011
Loaded .44 on the low, where my cheese at? or simply put.. Observations..
Did the title make sense? no? s'okay.. it was just there to perk curiosity... and give me street cred... because I am gangsta.. and stuff.. More than anything, this is just a smattering of things I have actually taken at least a few seconds to think about.. Once you start reading it.. you may ask your self, "Why?" I have no answer for that... I know I could focus on more productive things, but I cannot truly help what crosses my mind. Like now... I am thinking to myself. 'Brooks... this is a truly narcissistic endeavor.." I have to agree with myself on that one... Do people really care what I observe? Again.. I have no true answer for that.. but deep down I have to assume that I truly think highly of myself to the point of that if I were a person on the outside looking at me.. I may truly think to myself, "What a self important asshole!" I would probably be right about myself... but I digress...
This is not an uncommon observation.. I mean.. it can't be.. but you all have noticed that whenever a new type reality show comes out.. someone else comes out with a doppelganger of it.. with some minor twists.. and it is branded as original.. case in point.. "Little People, Big Ass World" v. "Little Couple".. first you started out with "Little peeps. big world.." You got a family of Little People.. (that is the preferred term.. so I will play their silly little game.. no pun intended) Ok.. so just the parents and one of four kids are little.. the rest of the kids are regulation height.. they own a pumpkin farm.. run a few businesses.. do some public speaking... blah... kind of boring.. (though I would pay serious money to see the video of the dad doing a sobriety test when he got his DWI.. Yeah yeah.. scoff all you want.. but you know.. deep down in that dark pit in your gut,.. you would be laughing your ass off at the little guy face planting from too many body shots off of a strippers stomach.. ok.. I added the last part.. but now it is in your head..) ok.. off track a bit here.. Now.. a television guy sees this show and goes "Hey!! I want some of that Little Person action!" and makes a new show. Ok.. so your show has a family of mixed height.. My new show has a couple and they are both Little!! 100% Little Family! You have a business man husband in yours.. I will trump that with my business man dude and raise your ass with a doctor wife!!! A preemie baby doctor at that!! BOOYAAH! ok.. so it is an odd and inane observation.. but I hope you learned a valuable lesson from this and these shows... and that is.. even the little people wives are nagging harpies!!! Yes.. They blow their dudes up and lead them by the noses, albeit with cutesy munchkin voices.. though somehow that makes them more sinister.
When I was visiting my father at the hospital all this week (thank you to all for your prayers and well wishes).. there was only one elevator working .. I know this slowed things up, but I didn't mind.. wasn't like I was in a hurry.. but strangely, some people were.. we would have 4 or 5 people waiting for the elevator.. and when it finally opened.. there was always one or two jackholes who would basically push and rush into the elevator.. Um.. that sort of thing puts Brooks into "Mosey mode" They haven't caught on to the fact that if you get in the elevator first.. it doesn't mean you are going to win the Elevator Race.. in fact.. first on usually means you are pushed to the back.. you arent going to get to the next floor minutes before the rest of the people in the elevator..we get there at the same time... but if you must make it a competition.. then fine.. I crown you elevator king or queen... I will push all the buttons to all the floors to make you a pretty light show as an award for your achievement.
And what is it about a Chicago accent that can take a hot chick and make her far less appealing? That is one of the most heinous regional dialects there are..Shhhh.. just don't talk, baby!
Ehh.. I am bored and I have to get ready for work... Bye
This is not an uncommon observation.. I mean.. it can't be.. but you all have noticed that whenever a new type reality show comes out.. someone else comes out with a doppelganger of it.. with some minor twists.. and it is branded as original.. case in point.. "Little People, Big Ass World" v. "Little Couple".. first you started out with "Little peeps. big world.." You got a family of Little People.. (that is the preferred term.. so I will play their silly little game.. no pun intended) Ok.. so just the parents and one of four kids are little.. the rest of the kids are regulation height.. they own a pumpkin farm.. run a few businesses.. do some public speaking... blah... kind of boring.. (though I would pay serious money to see the video of the dad doing a sobriety test when he got his DWI.. Yeah yeah.. scoff all you want.. but you know.. deep down in that dark pit in your gut,.. you would be laughing your ass off at the little guy face planting from too many body shots off of a strippers stomach.. ok.. I added the last part.. but now it is in your head..) ok.. off track a bit here.. Now.. a television guy sees this show and goes "Hey!! I want some of that Little Person action!" and makes a new show. Ok.. so your show has a family of mixed height.. My new show has a couple and they are both Little!! 100% Little Family! You have a business man husband in yours.. I will trump that with my business man dude and raise your ass with a doctor wife!!! A preemie baby doctor at that!! BOOYAAH! ok.. so it is an odd and inane observation.. but I hope you learned a valuable lesson from this and these shows... and that is.. even the little people wives are nagging harpies!!! Yes.. They blow their dudes up and lead them by the noses, albeit with cutesy munchkin voices.. though somehow that makes them more sinister.
When I was visiting my father at the hospital all this week (thank you to all for your prayers and well wishes).. there was only one elevator working .. I know this slowed things up, but I didn't mind.. wasn't like I was in a hurry.. but strangely, some people were.. we would have 4 or 5 people waiting for the elevator.. and when it finally opened.. there was always one or two jackholes who would basically push and rush into the elevator.. Um.. that sort of thing puts Brooks into "Mosey mode" They haven't caught on to the fact that if you get in the elevator first.. it doesn't mean you are going to win the Elevator Race.. in fact.. first on usually means you are pushed to the back.. you arent going to get to the next floor minutes before the rest of the people in the elevator..we get there at the same time... but if you must make it a competition.. then fine.. I crown you elevator king or queen... I will push all the buttons to all the floors to make you a pretty light show as an award for your achievement.
And what is it about a Chicago accent that can take a hot chick and make her far less appealing? That is one of the most heinous regional dialects there are..Shhhh.. just don't talk, baby!
Ehh.. I am bored and I have to get ready for work... Bye
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