Fine.. I will spell out my issue with Frisco...

I am sure if any of you have been paying any kind of attention at all..  you will notice I tend to blow up Frisco, TX a bunch..  or you may know it by its scientific name..  Douchenozzle Central..  ok..  cheap pop..  but I can't help myself.  I speak ill of both the town and its denizens..  and you may ask yourself.  "Why does the typically sweet, kind, and magnanimous Brooks speak ill of the Town Of Frisco and often wish for it to be consumed in the fiery pits of Hades??"  Well kids..  pull up a seat and let Uncle Brooksie break it down for ya.

Now..  before I start bulletpointing the issues I have with Frisco..  let me point out that I have some dear friends that live there and they honestly don't fit the stereotypes I am about to lay on you.  Stereotypes!!!  BROOKS IS PROFILING!!!!???!?!?!  Well.. I am going to let you in on a little secret.. come closer.. ok.. not that close.. personal bubble..  ok.. good..  here is a secret..  There.. is a reason why something becomes a stereotype..  because it has a WEEEEE little bit of truth to it. (or a whooole lot of truth)

Ok..  Now that I have the disclaimer..  Here is a list of why I cannot STAND Frisco.. and all things related to it..

1.)  It and its people have the most odd and undeserved sense of entitlement I have EVER witnessed in my lifetime..  It is the land of the credit rich.  People who are DYING to give the illusion of success and will sacrifice important things to LOOK like they are about something..  yet they teeter ever so perilously to the edge of total failure.
2.) The people are a bouquet of dick..  at my work.. I can pick out a Friscan with little to no effort..  the guys will be wearing a golf visor..  spikey hair..  sunglasses indoors..  either a golf shirt or something too small and Ed hardy.. fashionable $200 jeans with buttons on the ass pocket, Bluetooth earpiece..  the women..  either fake lips and tits...  (Remember.. Frisco is where strippers go to settle down) or very bored housewife look..  usually wearing yoga gear and has the thumbs permanently planted on her smart phone..  the bad color job on the hair..  the TOO BIG sunglasses on.. indoors of course..  they both LOVE to bring up how much they spend at your establishment..  (though they do thankfully seem unable to detect eyerolls and deep sighs thankfully) 
3.) Their kids..  are assholes..  Yeah..  I know.. picking on the kids.. but.. fruit does not far fall from the tree and it seems to evolve into something worse than where it came from.  These kids are absolute jackoffs..  They have a sense of entitlement bigger than anything I have ever witnessed..  It comes from the whole "Everyone is a winner and gets a trophy" and "I know I am your parent, but I want to be liked by you even more!" approach to things..  These frikkin monsters will say stuff to their parents that would have had me shot..  no.. seriously.. Shot...  and the parents try to BARGAIN and plead with these kids.. are you FRIKKIN kidding me??  PUNCH THE KID IN THE FACE!!  oh.. wait.. cant do that?  What about behind closed doors?  Open hand?  No?  son of a bitch...   I have had moms come up to me and ask me if I would tell the kids I wouldnt let them have anymore paint because she didnt want to look like the bad guy...  I have been asked by fathers to tell their kid they couldnt play due to whatever because they didnt have the balls to do it..  What was the common denominator..  these PEOPLE WERE FROM FRISCO!!!  ALL of them.. Shit you not.. true story.. 
4.)  It is FUN to hate Frisco..  try it.. you will like it..  it is an absolute hoot.  It is overcrowded..  it is full of awful people in general (except some of my friends who decided to venture into that place of unholyness..  but I can't hate on them.. Being stupid does not make one douchy..LOL) There is little redeemable about it.  I mean.. it has lots of shopping and restaurants..  but that makes sense..  when you have that many people who love to keep up with the Jones'...  you need to have places to take the douche money!! 

So... to break it all down..  if it looks like douche.. smells like douche.. talks like a douche.. one can come to only one conclusion...  Frisco is STOOOOOPID.

A Point.. You are doing it wrong.

I read a bunch of my friends' blogs.. they have something in common..  something that I haven't quite added to my ramblings and quips..  a point..  They sort of have a focus on what they are doing and writing about.. I just sort of click NEW and let my fingers do the walking..  I should really have a point sometimes..  I suppose it is the malady that has afflicted me ... well.. forever..  I can just... TALK..  Admittedly I suppose it has served me.. I am quicker on the draw than most..  Anyway..  not sure what the point was of bringing that up..  but there..  its too late.. you already read it..  HA!  Victory is mine... and stuff.

So..  Been feeling a bit nostalgic lately..  dunno why..  I suppose it is ok to re-visit the past.  It isn't that I pine for the past..  it wasn't any better/worse than today.  And quite frankly.. I typically avoided visiting the past..  but I have found some comfort in listening to some good and bad 80's music that I hadn't listened to in 20+ years.  I am not talking about the stuff you hear on the radio all the time.. but some of the more obscure stuff..  Amazing what you can find on YouTube..  and much to the chagrin of my followers on the social networks.. I have been posting them..  kind of like having one of those cheesy after football game dances like we used to have in the cafeteria. 

I have been teaching myself PhotoShop.. lol..  again.. MUCH to the chagrin of my minions..  It has brought us the life and time of my ingrown toenail, Capt. FunkyToe.  We get to visit his many misadventures and the life and times of this awesome appendage.  Of course, I expected to and did lose some over sensitive minions when I posted Amy WineToe...  I guess they were surprised and shocked by her early demise.  oh well..  I will push on.. 

I have to find a body shop..  not for me.. but for my Chariot of Doom..  yes the 74 Yellow VW Beetle is as far as I can take it personally.. so I need a body shop to finish the last portion and give it a fresh coat.  I love old VWs..  they have so much character and are REALLY easy to work on. 

Hmmm..  looks like I am writing a fairly vanilla blog this time..  I guess they all can't be quirky, inflammatory, or just plain WTF-ish...  Perhaps that is a good thing.. perhaps I am maturing..  Anything is possible I suppose.

Ok.. it is QUITE simple, folks

(sigh)...  I can't believe I have to actually do this for you people..  but I suppose I will spell it out for you...  I LIVE off of feedback, comments, insults, pat on the back, butt, head..  whatever..  I am high maintenance and require attention.  I am like the most annoying f-ing houseplant/ pet you could ever own.  I am going to teach you how to keep YOUR Brooks happy and thriving..  and even potentially shut him up once in a while.

I am amusing..  funny at times..  I may say something that makes you go "Oh no he di-ent"..  It is what I do.. Not for a living sadly.. but if I did..  that would probably suck the joy out of being me..  I digress..  It isn't even necessarily intentional when I am "being funny"  I just see things in a logical but skewed way compared to many others..  and if it is different, yet something you can relate to..  it is considered humor.  ANYWAY..  This obviously gives some of you some levity in your droning lives, and for that.. I am happy.  On occasion I will say something that I am sure will get a reaction and BAM....  the deafening sound of crickets..  ok..  so it can't all be gold. I then talk to people occasionally on the social networks and they say "I love reading your comments! You are funny, amusing, an asshole, crazy..  blah blah blah..  "  Terrific..  Where the hell were you when I was dying (stage talk) out there!!!  "  Yes..  I realize it is terribly needy of me..  but I have embraced this fact about me.  I LOVE it to be about ME..  By simply liking or saying something inane like" ROFLCOPTOR" or "Shut UP, Brooks!!!"  You are making me have a better feeling of self and I will be less likely to try so hard to get a reaction in the near future!!  More people should recognize their shortcomings like I do!!  Now I simply ask that you cater to it.  I provide a service..  you pay me in your unquestioned love and loyalty..  I think it is a fair trade.  I really should have been on stage on on the radio..  but this is my outlet for the time being..