No.. not brain matter.. I haven't given up on you people yet to the tune of swallowing a bullet... or even eating pop-rocks and washing it down with soda.. Just some random things (I know.. me being random.. what other category would anything I do fall under?) that have been brought to my attention.. however fleeting my attention span may be. I haven't written much.. not lately... other things have been on my mind. I am typically a laid back individual.. at times to a fault. BUUUUUT... lately.. I have let life and such get to me a bit.. I have been stressed.. and it has reared its ugly head.. I even had a .... pensive look on my face for a bit...
I honestly feel like I am missing out on my family's life. I work every weekend.. 12 to 14 hours a day.. I basically get to see my kids at around 7pm on Sunday night.. It is rough. I miss the band concerts.. I miss the art shows.. I miss just running around at the mall with all of them to pick out whatever dress or shoe or item needed for something coming up.. I miss it all... It honestly tugs at my soul. My oldest is a freshman in high school.. She will be off to college in a few years. I grew up with this kid.. I was a young guy with a lot of growing up to do when she was born... So, we kind of grew up together. And soon.. she will be off to make her own life. I need to find a way to be there for my family.
Switching gears now.. I have been watching DVDs of the show "Mad Men". Holy jumping jack Jesus on a cracker... I was born in the wrong time!! Where the hell do I sign up for the time machine ride. The year is 1960. Men were men. Not crying lil sensitive yes men. But Men. You wore a suit to work. You looked impeccable. You drank and smoked... well.. EVERYWHERE. (That was before cigarettes were bad... they were good for you back then..LOL) The women... Oh.. the women.. they wore dresses.. they lived to be at the beck and call of the men... they had CURVES!!! (Thank GOD.. the show is full of soft, curvy women.. not twiggy flagpoles) Now.. before you girls go off on how sexist I am being.. the women often got their way too... manipulative (not necessarily a bad thing) and also the men wanted to make sure their women were happy, too. People had some grace and manners. Hell.. for all of that, I could come up with all kinds of great ways to pitch advertising for laxatives.
I am not terribly sure what my future holds.. what I will be doing.. I don't know.. For me.. that is rough. Though it seems like I am chaotic at times.. just randomly bouncing about.. Most everything I say or do is carefully thought out and controlled to bring about a certain action or reaction. I am a bit of a control freak when it comes to my emotions and actions. I don't feel the level of control I used to over life. It is a scary thing to think about.. change.. Sometimes sanity can be a comforting thing. Right now, I could go for a little boredom.
No comments:
Post a Comment